Do you ever find yourself in situations that you don’t want to be in?
Agreeing to things that make you want to cringe? Nodding instead of ‘nay’-ing? If you’re feeling more doormat than diva, we need to talk about boundaries.
Think, for a moment, about where you live. We're going to assume you have walls? Ceilings? Windows, doors, garden gate? Regardless of whether you sleep on the sixteenth floor or actually own the perfect picket fence, your abode has boundaries. Bloody good ones. Locks, bolts, double-glazing, bricks, slats and fencing – their job is to keep undesirables out and you safe. And if they ever drop the ball, your alarm will pick up the slack. In short, you are physically protected as soon as the front door swings shut.
Unwanted visitor? Don’t answer the door.
Unexpected call ? Leave the phone alone
But what about the boundaries that aren’t fashioned from bricks and mortar? How do people know how to treat you? How do you set out the rules?
Basically, boundaries are that invisible line where you stop and someone else begins. They allow you to clearly let people know what you can accept and what you definitely can’t. It sounds simple, right? But it’s so easy to accept less than you’re worth because you’re scared of hurting people or letting them down, even at your own expense. Look at it this way, if you’re always putting the rest of the world first, you’re teaching them that you don’t mind coming second. And we ain’t down with that!
So, let’s start working things out. Do you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios?
You find yourself saying ‘Yes’ even when you desperately want to scream ‘NO!’
You apologise for other people’s feelings.
You’re terrified of confrontation.
You walk on eggshells around certain people.
Are any of these statements ringing a big bell of truth for you?
Well luckily, to get you started, we’ve produced a fabulous freebie – it’s a tick-list of specific emotions and behaviours designed with boundary issues in mind. If you find you’ve gone on a ticking spree and you see yourself and your life staring up at you from the sheet, please keep reading. We can help you to set some boundaries, take back some control and set yourself free. Pop your e-mail here, lovely, and we’ll send across our helpful (and super-cute) downloadable.
You’ve already taken that all-important yet all too painful first step to freedom in recognizing just what is going on.
Does it feel like a window has been opened? A light switch flicked on? However it feels to you, it’s all ok. It’s all good. We’ve got your back. And your front and your sides, sister!
Ready for the next step? Great!
Boundaries are unique. What may work for you might not float Auntie Betty’s boat. That’s why you need to spend some time thinking about which of your personal laws are being broken by others, how they’re being broken and why you’re allowing this to happen.
If you want to delve deeper, then download our fantastic WorkChic;
‘Be The Boss of Your Own Boundaries’
which will help you to work things out quickly and effectively. Just click here and we’ll make a start on rebuilding your world, your way! Or if you're feelin' fancy and need a bit of extra help in other areas, go for our 'Life Bundle'!
*Just so you know, our Blog Boundaries are pretty loose. We can take anything you throw at us so feel free to go comment cray-cray. What are YOUR personal laws? We love hearing from you!
And, as a big, fat thanks for reading all of that, we have a juicy reward for you...
All you have to do is click here to download our totally free, super-cute...
'Mini Mind Map!'
It’s a brilliant way of checking in with yourself – actually, when was the last time you did that?
This Mind Map is the fastest way of learning what's working, what's not, where you need to make changes and how.
Sound good to you?
That's because it is!
We always like to begin with this when starting any sort of soul-searching venture. Its fab, effective and full of fanciness. You could say it's a 'pretty' useful tool to find the true you – and you would not be wrong!